Can't Have Shit In Ohio
Can't possess crap within Ohio.
Unfortunately, I lack the ability to obtain a single valueless substance during staying within the great state of. No crap to be found here, unfortunately.
Regrettably, I can't obtain even a speck of waste inside Ohio. There is no crap available in this region, unfortunately. No rubbish to have in the great state of OH.
Unfortunately, I'm missing the aptitude to have a single rubbish during the time residing within the Buckeye State. No garbage to be found in these parts, unfortunately. I am without a single substance inside Ohio.
Sadly, it is beyond my control to acquire a single waste while residing in Ohio. No junk to be found within these boundaries, regrettably. I can't own any excrement inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh no, sadly I am restricted to possess even the smallest amount of junk during residing in the state of Ohio. No nonsense in my possession, unfortunately. I am unable to obtain even a trace of excrement inside Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I can't to have the slightest bit of waste during staying inside the state of Ohio. No crap to be found in this area, unfortunately. I have no means to possess the tiniest amount of excrement within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am incapable to acquire even a single crap whilst residing within Ohio. No crap for me, sadly. I lack the tiniest bit of dung in the great state of Ohio.