lack the capacity to possess crap in the state of.
It's unfortunate, I can't to have a single valueless material while staying within the great state of. No nonsense in my possession, unfortunately.
Sadly, I can't possess even a speck of feces in the state of. No waste to be found in these parts, unluckily. No rubbish to have in the great state of OH.
Unfortunately, I can't possess the ability to have a single nonsense whilst living within Ohio. No junk to be found in the vicinity, sadly. I am missing a single excrement within OH.
Alas, it is beyond my reach to have any junk while in the state of Ohio. No junk to be found within Ohio, unfortunately. I lack the ability to possess even a speck of shit in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, sadly I am constrained to obtain a single waste whilst staying within the state of Ohio. No garbage to be found here, alas. I don't have any of excrement within Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I lack the capacity to acquire any excrement while living in the state of Ohio. No waste to be found here, regrettably. I can't have any waste within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am powerless to possess any garbage whilst living within Ohio. No waste in my possession, sadly. I lack even a trace of excrement within the great state of Ohio.