lack the capacity to possess waste inside the state of.
Unfortunately, I can't to acquire any valueless matter whilst living inside the great state of. No junk to be found here, sadly.
Regrettably, I am unable to acquire even a speck of feces inside Ohio. No waste to be found in this region, unfortunately. Unable to obtain junk in the great state of Ohio.
Unfortunately, I can't possess the ability to obtain even the smallest speck of junk during the time living within the borders of the Buckeye State. No rubbish to be found in these parts, unfortunately. I am missing any feces within Ohio.
Sadly, it is beyond my reach to acquire any nonsense while located in Ohio. No rubbish available around here, sadly. I can't own a single substance inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, unfortunately I am restricted to acquire a single garbage during staying in the state of Ohio. No nonsense to be found here, alas. I don't have the tiniest bit of excrement in Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I don't have the ability to acquire any waste while staying inside the state of Ohio. No junk to be found in this area, sadly. I have no means to own even a trace of waste in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am incapable to have even a single waste while living inside Ohio. No nonsense for me, alas. I lack any excrement in the great state of Ohio.

Bee Gees Massachusetts Lyrics